The way you talk to yourself can have a significant impact on your self-esteem. Depending on whether your self-talk is positive or negative, the effect can either be beneficial or detrimental to you. Furthermore, your mindset or how how you view the world around you has a direct impact on what you say to yourself. This article shall thus explain what self talk is, giving examples of both positive and negative self talk and finally give 3 simple strategies on how to boast your self-esteem to become a better version of yourself.
For more clarity, check out this article on how to have and maintain a positive mindset. Keep in mind, that your thoughts become your words and your words become your actions. Hence the need to stay on a positive path inorder to attract more positivity into your life. Inspirational quotes will also very helpful in improving your mindset which will in turn have have a positive impact on how you self-talk. For the mind is very powerful, it can make or break you.
What exactly is self-talk?
Self-talk is something you are already engaging in, even if you may not aware of it.
Self-talk is essentially your inner voice, the voice in your head that expresses thoughts and feelings that you may or may not express out loud. Often, we are completely unaware that this continuous internal monologue is taking place in the background, but our self-talk can have a significant impact on our feelings about ourselves.
The Power of Positivity.
The power of positivity, positive thinking or positive mindset is a concept a lot of people are generally familiar with, however, that notwithstanding, it is something that so many people struggle with. As unfortunately for a good number of people, the story they tell themselves about themselves is negative, hence the phrase negative self-talk.
Our thoughts have a great impact on how we perceive ourselves and the world around us. We all have a story that we tell ourselves about ourselves internally. It is hard for a lot pf people to separate themselves form their thoughts, which is necessary especially when the thoughts in question do not serve you. In order words, because you think something, does not necessary mean that is what you are. Your thoughts should not control you, rather you should and can control your thoughts. Controlling your thoughts if you cannot already do this, takes some practice. Just know that it is doable and you can do it.
In the absence of self-awareness and intentional, positive self-talk, we are left with the negative thoughts we have about ourselves, and focusing on only those thoughts will leave us feeling depressed and worthless. Negative self-talk can therefore even prevent you from becoming successful in life or keep you from accomplishing your heart desires.
In such a scenario, a person would be prevented from living a full, joy-filled life, and from experiencing love, risk, adventure and meaningful relationships as a result of negative thoughts / negative self-talk. Nevertheless, as we all have complete control over our thoughts, you can choose to make conscious efforts to redirect your thoughts towards more positive things and change those negative narratives you tell yourself into positive ones.
However, as Rome was not built in a day, be kind and patient with your yourself as you work on changing your mindset and thought process. Do not expect over night miracles. Rather take things a step at a time, and celebrate every little success you have in changing a negative narrative you have.
The difference between positive and negative self-talk is important to understand.
The importance in the difference between positive and negative self talk has already explained as it relates to the power of positivity, or shall we say the power of the mind. However, for clarity, here are some key points in the differences between the two concepts.
Having negative self-talk can make you feel pretty down on yourself and the things that are going on in your life. It has the ability to bring a downer to anything, even something good.
People who engage in negative self-talk tend to be unhappy, and it can even have a negative impact on mental health issues as aforementioned. However, technically speaking, it is not possible, nor is it beneficial, to be optimistic all of the time. People need to stay in touch with reality, have realistic expectations whilst keeping a positive mindset. Read more on the misconceptions about having a positive mindset. For having a positive mindset or being optimistic does not mean you are happy all the time.
Some Examples Of Negative Self-Talk Include The Following:
- What was I thinking when I did that? I am a complete moron.
- I’m never going to be good enough.
- I’m not attractive. No one thinks I’m particularly attractive.
- I can’t seem to get anything right.
- I’m a complete and utter failure.
- I’ll be content once I’ve earned some money.
- That is something I am not confident enough to do.
- I’m a terrible mother or father.
- No one is interested in my ideas.
- If I speak up for myself, I will be a hindrance to those around me.
- I should be doing better
- Everyone thinks I’m an idiot
- Everything is a mess
- Nothing is ever going to get any better
It makes you feel good about yourself and the things that are going on in your life when you use positive self-talk. It’s similar to having an optimistic voice in your head that always sees the positive side of things. The light at the end of the tunnel and so on.
Some Examples Of Positive Self-Talk Include The Following:
- I have the ability to change my mind at any time.
- I’ve been given permission to change my mind about this.
- It took courage for me to even consider doing this, and I’m proud of myself for making the attempt.
- I accept myself for who I am. I love myself for who I am.
- Fear is only a feeling, and it will not be able to hold me back.
- I accept full responsibility for my actions in the past.
- Despite the fact that the outcome was not what I had hoped for, I gained a great deal of insight into myself.
- I’m a decent human being who deserves to be recognised.
- I am distinguished by a variety of characteristics, traits, and abilities that distinguish me from others.
- Despite the fact that I still have a long way to go, I am pleased with how far I have already come.
- I am capable and strong, and I am confident that I will overcome this challenge.
- I have faith in myself.
- Tomorrow presents an opportunity to try again, armed with the knowledge gained from today.
- I’m going to put everything I have into making this work.
- I have no influence over what other people think, say, or do. I have complete control over myself.
- This is an excellent opportunity for me to branch out and try something new.
- I can take something positive from this situation and use it to further my development as a person.
- I have the determination to see my dreams through to fruition.
- I’m proud of myself for even attempting it in the first place.
- I have the freedom to be a different and better version of myself today than I was yesterday.
- When I’m done with this, I’ll be in a position to empower, assist, and inspire those around me.
- I can use my strengths (please list a few of them!) to help me get through this.
- It is likely that I will be a better person after enduring this ordeal. This is something I can handle!
- I’m doing the best I can
- I’m confident I’ll pass this exam
- I’m not feeling well right now, but things could be worse
Are any of these thoughts familiar to you? Do you find yourself thinking any of them?
It is likely that you have the opportunity to learn how to use more positive self-talk if you answered yes to the previous question.
What’s amazing about our brain is that you can actually “trick” it into doing something. Yes, it is true! By repeating positive self-talk on a regular basis, you can begin to rewrite your internal script. Consider them to be little nudges in the direction of something a best friend would say if you were feeling down.
What is the point of practising?
The more you put forth effort to improve your self-talk, the less difficult it will become. It’s similar to learning a musical instrument or attending sports training: it won’t be easy at first, but you’ll get better with practise.
Although it may not seem like much, our self-talk is a significant contributor to our feelings of self-worth and confidence. Positive self-talk can help you feel more in control of your life and more likely to achieve your goals if you work on replacing negative self-talk with more positive self-talk.
Three strategies for boosting your self-esteem / suggestions to assist you in changing the direction of your self-talk:
1. You should pay attention to what you’re saying to yourself.
Take note of what your inner voice has to say.
Is the majority of your self-talk positive or negative?
Make a mental note of what you’re thinking every day.
2. Put a stop to your negative self-talk.
Consider the following questions: Is there any actual evidence to support what I’m thinking?
If a friend found himself in a similar situation, what would I suggest he do?
Is there anything I can do to change the situation in which I find myself?
3. Alter your internal monologue.
Make a list of the things that you appreciate about yourself.
As an alternative to saying: “I’ll never be able to do this,” try saying: “Is there anything I can do to assist me in doing this?”